I have a new philosophy- I’m only going to dread one day at a time.
Who, besides strippers, wears a Yellow Feather Boa to a Rotary event?
I would get pregnant again if I knew I would have puppies.
I have found if I really want something, it appears at a garage sale on Saturday. This week I wanted a new husband. Didn’t like what I found on the .25 cent table.
Kids only call to talk to you if they want money or food.
I am trying to rearrange my life so I don’t have to even be present.
Why at conventions (mass people events) the chicken always tastes like rubber and the fish is over cooked?
I hate name tags.
The uterus is a tracking device.
If a contractor says a job will take about two weeks, figure three months.
Is it morally wrong to let suckers keep their money?
(Should be across my husbands forehead) A sure sign of a nervous breakdown is thinking that your work is terribly important.
Why do writers write? Because it is there.
There is no thief like a bad book.
I would get pregnant again if I knew I would have puppies.
Agreed!
OMG! This is my Sunday morning laugh! Thank you! Thank you!
Who are you? Steven Wright?
I bought a decaf coffee table. No one can tell the difference.