I’m out of sorts

I am out of sorts. Lost and confused. First, we are putting in new flooring and painting the walls of the house. So at this point, everything on the first level is in the garage and everything in the garage is in the driveway. My husband lives downstairs, it is his cave, his domain. I don’t go down there unless it is some kind of emergency. I pay the maid to clean it, I really just do not want to invade his space or even know what goes on down there.

The garage is his toy storage. He has (and I’m not exaggerating) 3 Yamaha Super jets (jet ski’s) 2 Yamaha Wave blasters, 1 Yamaha 250 dirt bike, 1 Suzuki Katana, 1 Kawasaki Jet Mate, all the tools, extra parts, accessories, garments that goes with each vehicle. (My son is currently storing his new Kawasaki Monster dirt bike and all the accouterments that go with it too). I have the washer and dryer.

While he decides between chocolate mouse or tan sunset for the color of his walls, we are sharing a bathroom. And a driveway. My house feels cluttered and unfinished. The only thing that is worse is when we have to do the next floor. That is when I am going on a two-week vacation and come back when it is done.

Second reason: My son moved back into town on Christmas day. He came back to town a changed man. He was always the Eeyor of the family, never happy with anything, he complained from my womb. Now he is a Ray of Fucking Sunshine (we’ve shortened it to RFS). He is happy, content, giggly, and jubilant. When you ask him how he is, “I’m GREAT! Things are perfect!” And he means it.

I love that he is happy, but it is disconcerting nonetheless. Why you ask? Because he changed the family dynamic. Our pat answers and well-laid opinions of him no longer fit. We must think and appreciate what he says before we knee jerk response and put him in the miserable box. Even his friends are not sure what to do with RFS.

As a mother, I am so happy for his happiness. He deserves it and has worked hard for it. He does need a full time job, so if anyone needs a RFS to work for them, I got your man.

He went with me to the store today to help find foods I can liquefy for my fast (non-chewing week) and he was so helpful, nice, funny, expectant of a great future. I lost my keys. I never do that. I dropped them in the parking lot. He found them, I couldn’t.

Families are a strange and wondrous thing, but something is always ebbing and flowing in them, so I learn to treat them as the waves. Always there, but always changing.

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