The World’s Worst Job

You know the economy is still not so good when you post this ad on Criags list and get over 50 responses:

The yard has gone to the Dogs (Grover Beach)

Husband is out of town and I am hiring behind his back. I need someone to do our dirty work. We have been too busy working and badly neglected our yard. I need a back yard pooper scooper (2 big dogs) for a small but mistreated backyard. Then we need weed whacking, removal of a jasmine vine that is wrapped thru a lattice, weed pulling in the front yard (less than 200 sq ft) and general clean up around our house. I will need you to haul it away. I’m not even sure if the weed whacker works, so you’ll need to bring one. No weirdo’s or whacko’s. email with questions. But really, it is alot of dog shit and one obnoxious plant, what questions could you have? I will call everyone after it stops raining!

Here were some of my favorite responses:

Hello.., I’m in GB how soon would you like the job done? I need the cash & have pick-up shit before. I’m also the furthest thing from a whacko/weirdo, just a dad who needs gas $ to visit his kids in S.M. Please reply asap, thank-u

He’s a good Dad?

-My named is Bill. I can hook you up.I My number is 805@@#####. Let’s get all that shit cleaned up.
I like someone who can hook up my shit!

-2nd attempt, maybe you didnt get my first response. Im in GB, have a truck & can
use the gas $ call at your soonest convienence

Gas Money?

-Hey I saw you add on craigslist and am really interested. I am hard working that has lots of experience in yard care and landscaping. I am have dog myself so dont mind cleaning dog poop.. I have all tools needed and will get the job done fast and efficient. If interested in my help call me at ######

Helps that he’s a dog lover?

-Hi, my name is Cesanne. I am a 21yr old Construction Management senior at Cal-Poly. I work hard and make sure that I get the job done promptly. Please let me know if I can be of service to you as I am currently in desperate need of some cash. I can build pretty much anything, landscape, wash, clean, weed and much more. Please let me know if I can help! Thank You,

This is what a degree gets you these days.

-hi my name is james and i am interested in helping u with your yard…..please call me if you would like me to help…..i have tools, i am a college grad and experienced in many phases of maintaining properties….

Another proud college graduate!

-Hi there, love your posting. I would love to help you out now that the rain has ceased.. My name is Jeff and can be reached at ######

What you don’t like wet dog shit?

-hi my name is josh looking for work if you are still in need of someone i have my own weed wacker and car if you still need someone please give me a call at ######

A man with a weed wacker, that’s assets!

– Hello, my name is Jaime and I need some work during an intirim unemployment period. Have you found someone yet? I used to work landscape around SLO and have done a few yards myself on a clean up. My number is 805####### thinking Friday would be best because of the recent rain 🙂 go ahead and give me a call if you would like.

Isn’t all unemployment interim?

– I live in Grover myself on Ocean View and would be happy to help with your backyard dilemma. If you are still looking for help let me know, I can help out as soon as today.

Yeah, cause proximity to the dog shit is what matters.
-Hello I can do it immediately.. My name is sean I am not a weirdo..but I have a step son that will help me I am teaching him earning the dollar is life. We live
on stagecoach so not much for him to do there.. Call

Give this poor kid a playstation!

– Is this job still available? If not I am very interested. thank you Tracie

IF NOT, he is interested.

Aloha, I hope you haven’t hired anyone yet for the dirty work! I am very reliable! I do a lot of yard work for my family, friends and people in need of help. I just love to work. I hope i can help you out, i’m a 25 yr old male and am more than capable of helping you out and making your hard look great. If interested please let me know. I hope its not too late! Mahalo!
How do you make a Hard look great? Maybe it’s a Hawaiin thing.
Hi my name is luther i am willing to help u out i have a weedwacker and bags to haul it all off im not a weirdo or whacko lol im just someone looking for some extra $ times are hard please call me at home #####

Hey, I got nothing but time.

-hello, i would do the pooper scooper duty for you…i used to be a pet sitter….i can ask my husband but he will not be able to do it until friday or saturday for the other things….dep on the clean up around the house, i could see what that entails and maybe help with that…what were you wanting to pay for the work? when did you need it done by?
This lady is volunteering her husband to do??/

-and my favorites:

Subject: dog shit removal technician

wow, never thought i would put that in a subject line for potential employment. I bet my parents and high school guidance counselor would be proud. Anyway, im looking for odd jobs/general labor and and living in grover beach. Have operated heavy machinery/commercial fishing vessels and the like. I think i can handle a little dog poop. Please hit me back if the duty is still available as i am negotiable with salary plus desperate for some work. Thanks and kind regards-

Salary? Someone gets a salary for this?
-i need work and i have lots of xperience in wacking. please reply

Who admits they have wacking experience on a job application?